Thursday, August 30, 2012
He's Ready...am I???
Exactly one week ago, it happened. We walked into Belcher Center on the campus of LeTourneau University to check in Caleb. Immediately we saw two sets of footprints on the ground...one set for the student to follow and one set for the parents to follow. My immediate reaction was NO...don't separate us yet. He needs me to help him maneuver through this process..right? I complied and followed the red set of footsteps down the hall to get our schedule and name badge for the weekend. Then it was off to the parent "holding tank"...where a roomful of freshman parents were assembled. We met some parents, picked up some LeTourneau swag (pens, LETU parent stickers and a few notebooks). Caleb came and found us after awhile...he made it through check-in just fine without me.
The next several hours were spent moving him in and getting him set up. A list was begun for the first of several Walmart runs. Yes, I wondered how he would survive without me...he had an iron with him, but did he know how to use it...would he use? He still needed mom right...after all his closest was full of dress shirts and they were very wrinkly!
The next few days were spent with all of us attending orientation sessions; some together, some separate. Then came Saturday, the day all parents dreaded...there was one activity on our schedules we didn't like. It said "Time to say farewell to students." We all knew it was coming, we all hoped for the day to move slowly by. We attended our first morning session which turned out to be a chapel time. It was good. God needed to be a big part of this day and He didn't fail to show up. The worship was amazing...God was present and worked in all our hearts.
During this chapel I found myself looking down at my son (students sat in the section in front of the parents). I found myself having a conversation with God concerning Caleb.
Lord, he's not ready.
Yes Brenda he is.
I have so much left to teach him.
No, you've taught him how to learn...he's ready.
But, he's so young. He just turned 18 last month.
I've used young men before...remember David.
But Texas is so far away Lord.
No distance will ever be too far for you to pray for him. And remember I am with him. I love him even more than you do.
Are you sure he's going to be ok Lord? Doesn't he still need me?
Yes, Brenda he's going to be fine, and yes he still needs you, but your role is changing. You and Brian set him on this course. You've prayed for him, guided him and loved him...he's ready.
Then came the time, the time we dreaded. We knew we needed to pray with Caleb and we found a prayer room and got alone with him and spoke our hearts to God. We shared a few tears there and then walked to our truck. Caleb got several hugs from me, and we all shared some more tears. The time had come, the time to release the final arrow from our quiver and let him fly. We cried a bit more on the drive out of campus and headed north.
As we were settling into our hotel that night, we found two notes. One was for me and one was for Brian...they were from Caleb. It was like he knew of my conversation with God earlier...is he ready? Caleb assured me in the note that Brian and I had prepared him for this journey, he assured me he was ready!! God is good, He knew I would need to read those words from my son.
So ready or not, I am now the mother of three adult children. Each one trusting God and trying to discern His plan for them. God is good!!!