Saturday, May 14, 2011

A different kind of expectant mother...

Graduation season tends to make me sentimental. I think about the two graduations our family has already experienced and the (dreaded) one we will be having next year for our youngest. I think back over the past 21 years of motherhood and wonder where did the time go? Wasn't it just yesterday that I looked like this?
I loved being pregnant, except for month nine! I was miserable and ready to have those babies come out. Our first one cooperated and came one day before her due date, which still didn't feel like it was soon enough. The next one made me wait 8 days after her due date to make her appearance in this world. The third one made me wait just 3 days, but  everyday after that due date felt like ten. I was so eager to meet those babies, I just couldn't wait for them to come out. The anticipation drove me crazy and then of course the well meaning people who would say...are you STILL pregnant? Pregnancy hormones made me want to either slap them or burst into tears, thankfully I chose the tears!

Oh the joy of meeting those cute little (and in my son's case, not so little) babies! I just stared at them and was in awe, being with them made me forget the impatience I felt waiting for them to come. I just soaked in every minute with them. I loved them before they were born, but once I met them I went crazy for them. Never had I felt this type of love. It was amazing.

With each passing year, my love for them has only grown deeper. I love being a mom, I love my kids, God has blessed me so richly. Now that two of them are grown and away at school I experience being an expectant mother again, but in a new way. Now, I count down the days until they come home. When my daughter was driving home from college last  week, the closer it got to seeing her the more impatient I got. We leave in a few days to pick up the Texas daughter and once again I have that same feeling of excitement. I know that as our van nears the town of Comfort that excited feeling will enter my stomach again!
Our time together is less frequent these days, but the anticipation of seeing them will never lessen. Last Sunday at church I caught myself smiling every time I looked over at my daughter sitting next to me. The same feeling of love that flooded me when she was born was there. I know I will experience that same joy next week when all three kids are seated next to me in church and at our dinner table!

Think about the anticipation our Heavenly Father must have as He awaits us joining His presence. As we are worshiping Him in heaven, will He look over at me and smile with tears of joy that I am there? And just think about the banquet table we will all share. Reunions with my kids and having the family all together are but a glimpse of the joy we will experience in heaven!

Thankfully when we go home to heaven we won't have baggage!!!


  1. Oh Brenda I can so relate to this. It is like you just got into my head and said some of the same things that I am feeling. Only now my oldest has graduated from college and will be getting married in the fall and then heading to Holland MI. I keep telling myself that she is marring the man that God has chosen for her and the man that I prayed for, and that they will only be 12 hours away which is only one day of travel away. It is still hard to let go and let God. I'm so thankful that he is a man of God. That our family has a strong faith and that we can lean on God in those times when we find the road is difficult. I too am that expectant mother when it comes time for my girls to come home and I thank you for sharing this with us.

  2. This is beautiful!!!! And you're making me CRY! :) My oldest just graduated from kindergarten so I'm a bit weepy ;)

    Visiting from the the "Encouragement is Contagious" linky party at my blog, "Only A Breath"! I hope your week is a wonderful one!


  3. I guess if there is no pain of parting there can be no joy at reuniting. I see your words in my mom's face when we all come home! Such joy!

  4. This is a beautiful post! Thank you for sharing your heart!


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